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Unlawful Marriages: What Does Repentance Require?

by Paul Earnhart

The Bible is clear in speaking of marriages that are contrary to the law of God. God warned Abimelech, the king of Gerar, that it was not lawful to take Sarah as a mate, "For she is a man's wife." Because he "had not come near her," God assured Abimelech that he had not yet sinned against Him, but that to do so would bring instant death (Gen. 20:1-7). 

Under the law of Moses, the marriage of near kin was forbidden (Lev. 18:6-18) and priests were prohibited from marrying a woman who was widowed or divorced (Lev. 21:1-14). All Israelites were forbidden to marry the pagans of Canaan (Deut. 7:3-5). 

In the New Testament, Jesus warned that those who put away their wives/husbands (saving for the cause of fornication) and married another, committed adultery; and any thus put away who married, and those who married them, also committed adultery (Mt. 19:3-9; Mk. 10:11-12). 

When men and women marry those whom they are forbidden by divine law to marry, and afterward repent and wish to be reconciled to God, what does that repentance require of them? This is a question both critical and practical. Unless it is answered biblically, even more sin can result. 

First, let's consider the nature of repentance as it touches on any sin. Since sin is an act of rebellion against the will of God, repentance, by definition, is submission to His will. The son in Jesus' illustration who refused his father's request that he work in the family vineyard, afterward "repented himself, and went" (Mt. 21:28-29). Repentance is a change of mind toward God and a consequent change of behavior. As Thayer would have it, it is "to change one's mind for the better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one's past sins" (Greek-English Lexicon of the N.T., metanoeo, p. 405). More popularly put, repentance consists in the heart being broken for sin and from sin. It rises out of "godly sorrow" (2 Cor. 7:10) and issues in a changed life (Mt. 3:8; Acts 26:20). The sin one has come to hate will no longer be practiced. All sinful attitudes and behavior must be "put away" (Col. 3:5-10; Eph. 4:25-32). It is no more conceivable that penitent hearts should continue in fornication, adultery and homosexuality than that they should go on hating, lying and stealing. The Lord is merciful indeed, but only to those who repent with a broken heart and turn from their transgressions. Grace will not abound to those who continue in sin (Rom. 6:1-2). 

The only difference between an unlawful marriage and other illicit relationships between men and women is that the sin has been "regularized" by a legal ceremony. Other cultures have given legal standing to polygamous marriages and some in our society are pressing for the regularization of homosexual unions. Should repentance not require the end of those illicit relationships simply because they have been given legitimate status by a political state? 

But how do we know that true repentance (and God's resultant forgiveness) demands that partners in an unlawful marriage not only be grieved for what they have done but terminate the relationship? The only way we can answer that question is to ask what God demanded of the Israelites when they entered into marriages contrary to His will. 

What was the divine counsel which Ezra gave to the people of the restoration who had married foreign wives, contrary to the will of God? "And Ezra the priest stood up and said unto them, 'Ye have trespassed, and have married foreign women, to increase the guilt of Israel. Now therefore make confession unto Jehovah, the God of your fathers, and do his pleasure; and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign women'" (Ezra 10:10-11). Nehemiah's counsel and actions were the same (Neh. 13:23-30). 

And what was the message of John the Baptist to Herod Antipas when he married the former wife of his brother? "For John said unto Herod, 'It is not lawful for thee to have thy brother's wife'" (Mark 6:18). 

It may be argued that we have no example of Christians being required to end illicit marriages in order to serve God acceptably. It might also be said that we have no examples of polygamists or homosexuals being asked to terminate their illicit relationships in order to be forgiven. What we do have is the teaching of Christ about marriages that are unacceptable to Him (Mt. 19:3-9) and examples of both Old and New Testaments of what was required of the Jews. Does it seem likely that the law of Moses would hold men to a higher standard of repentance than the gospel of Christ (Heb. 2:2-3; Heb. 10:28-29)? In every other area of life we understand that repentance demands the termination of sin. Why should it be different when it comes to unlawful marriages? 

Every person who comes to Christ will face some "hard sayings," depending on where his treasure is. But we must remember that sin is innately poisonous and that everything God forbids is for our good (1 Jn. 5:3). There is pain in repentance, but present sufferings "are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to usward" (Rom. 8:18). Heaven will be worth it all. 

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